trust needs to be earned not gained,have you ever heard that? well,i am sure you do,pretty much sometimes.. whenever we do or whatever it takes to go through lives these day,trust is important in fact it is cruel nowadays.. you can't easily put your trust on strangers just like that without even thinking about the consequences that might comes back,crawling back days?
as it goes for me,i will never trust someone so easily,in fact i am hardly trust someone.. but once i did,it will always goes for you.. and if you crashed it once,there is not gonna be the second chance coming.. that is just me,the girl that ain't gonna let herself being cheated,twice! once is sucks,twice is more than sucks,it is bad ass!
so when you crushed my trustworthy on you,you can have your ass off to hell,that is where you supposed to go after you betrayed someone.. i don't seems to understand why people these days were so easily break it? don't you seems to take care about the people who trust you dude? that doesn't make any sense these day man? it is crazy you know,when you woke up one day and you realized that you can't trust anyone on the day because they are just not worth it.. I'm feeling that people..
so i have enough of these trust-thing-that-people-should-know.. I'm taking care of my own self now,which is a lot of hell better than I'm hoping for anyone else.. yourself are your own best friend actually.. the goods and the bad,yourself will never turned you down..
October was an awesome so far. went to the Genting Highlands on the 1st of October with love,we were so jakun and chiaming because we haven't been there yet and yes,it was so cool i mean the place of course. nothing much to say about our trip because we were not going overseas lagipun just visited the peak only,blergh!
and also,i am now having my own blogshop,feel free to drop by beautiful people.. fashion junkie,it just something that caught my interest lately :)
found this video on youtube.. do you guys watched One Tree Hill? i did followed this series from season 1 and i fall in love with Brooke Davis,Lucas Scott,Peyton Sawyer,Nathan Scott and Haley.. but i did adored Brooke more,being in love,broke up,got an affair with her mum and her bestfriend but she was as strong as always.. and in season 7,she got married with this guy named Julian.. I always hope that one day she will get married to Lucas but Lucas ended up in a marriage with Brooke's bestfriend,Peyton.. do watch this series guys :)
first,i won't be able to see my baby anne around this coming 13th October in KL since anne already got a call from Petronas and will be posting soon in Labuan.. so i have to make time to fly over to Labuan end of this year,God willing just to see my baby there.. dear baby anne,I'm so proud of you,i know that you have been waiting for this call quite some time and yes finally it comes with the others opportunity as well,so I'm glad and happy for you.. plus,your birthday present i will be send to you soon as you will let me have your address at your new living.. and I'm craving for Labuan's food now :)
second,I'm having a trip to Genting in this upcoming weekend,I'm excited!
i copy this note from one of my beautiful angel in facebook,which is recently i guess being in love..
........... When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go. You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you're not part of it.
Love strives in hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt all the time. Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse.But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.
Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that there were the things that helped you grow.
Loving someone means giving them the freedom to find their way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart. Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love. There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love because every time we do, we get hurt, then I figured that's why it's called "FALLING IN LOVE..."
do you people have a housemate? because i have yeah! okay,vain! i wanna talked about housemate in this entry.. i have a truly pengotor housemate ever that i ever met.. pengotor okay people,like seriously pengotor!
1. she did not clean up the kitchen after she cooked and she did not clean the plate and the glass after she used it.. she just leave it in the sink for somebody else clean it and clearly me!
2. the bathroom,i feel so disgusting to use it after her.. hair is all over in the bathroom and she like don't even know how clean them up after she bathe.. i used to clean up the toilet once a week and she never clean it up.. she just used it and never clean up,i was like her maid you know.. sometimes i used to talk out loud like,'bitch clean up the toilet please you jerk'.. fine,i was bragging.. but i do talk like,'i just clean up the toilet a few days ago and now it stained again,please take care of what we use together'..
3. the garbage.. argh,i hate this,but she never throw away the garbage if we asked her to do it.. leave it tomorrow and the day after and the day after and it got stink and we have to throw it by ourselves.. she does not have the housemate spirit that we should being doing the chores together..
luckily now i have no longer share the same bathroom and i no longer use the kitchen.. i spend almost my time in my room after work,so don't have to be around her anymore.. i just cannot stand with the people that can't clean their own mess and simply asked for others to do that..
we have being seeing each other faces for a year and 8 months now,happy anniversary my love.. you are the person that worth fighting for and i love you because you're always there for me.. your kindness makes me crawling back for you and fall deeply day by day..
you are the only person that patient enough to deal with this insanity that i brought to you.. you are the greatest invention that God had created just for me,so that you could completed my weaknesses.. nothing matters to me,although I'm having a fucking hectic day,seeing you actually made my day great.. i know that i have a lot weaknesses but you are dealing with it calmly.. and actually,it feels good to be around you love.. you are my boyfriend,my best friend,my friend,my buddy,my pal and my partner.. yes,i am willing to share my life with you right now..
(picture taken back in 2010)
now,we have been together for a year and 8 months,i guess it is strong enough for you to know me better than anyone else.. i put you now about the same level where i put the most important people in my life,my family.. soon,you will be amongst them.. and when that happened,my life is finally complete.. soon when that happen,i have everything that i want in life.. soon!
(present - 2011) 'if a hug represented how much i love you,i would hold you in my arms forever'
'if you love something,let it go. if it comes back to you,it's your forever. if it does not,then it was never meant to be'
you don't want to know how much i gained weight lately because i don't want to know about them either.. thus,i can only give you an example,i don't fit any of my skinny jeans anymore so saying good bye to all of them is the best decision.. i need a pair of the new jeans and a lot of new t shirt,please take me out for shopping..
here are the example of what i ate daily: breakfast - sometimes bread and nasi lemak or some biscuits lunch - fried kuew teow and fried rice sometimes dinner - a plate of the plain rice and a chicken soup or something light
see? such unhealthy meal that i have.. should start of my diet routine once again because my eating habit freaks me out already.. i don't want to have an unstable life and being fat is scary.. should hold myself from eating and should control the need.. it's a lust somehow,i don't know.. but it will bring harm to me someday,sooner or later..
i pledge to start on diet routine,see ya delicious meal.. i promise you won't see me anymore!
my life seriously memang takkan pernah ended with this type of person,stalker.. started when i'm doing my diploma until i'm in working,stalker is everywhere.. and i have one thing that i don't understand about stalker is,how do they picked their subject means the person to be stalked?
i wish somebody can tell me,but unfortunately not.. silent stalker is actually good because they won't do anything that harm you.. they just go through your profile,your wall and your picture.. just that! but the copycat stalker,something that i used to call this type of stalker is really pissed me off.. to tell you the truth,i have nothing to stalk about.. i live just a normal life,just like you did..
so,I'm confuse when i just posted a status in facebook and in a minute i found out you,the stalker posted the exact same status as i did and you using the picture as the same as i did.. fine,maybe i'm being so perasan and when i'm changing my profile picture using a picture that i found out cute on tumblr and yes,you did it too.. please,get your own life because i feel so rimas when i found out there is someone out there just like me.. i'm sure you don't want 2 'amal ismail' right? i'm trying to be me and i think you should be you,just you.. create your own image and get your own life,because you don't own this life,it's my life honey..
mesti pelik kan,apasal you wanna see my truth colour? yes,i'm about to show you my truth colour..
how many of you that knows me very well? like seriously very well? please put your hands up because i really wanna see them so badly.. how many of you knows my real name instead of 'amal ismail'? how many of you knows my favorite instead of tomyam pedas and also the chicken soup? how many of you knows my phone number? how many of you knows where did i actually lives? how many of you knows my real age? gotcha,i bet none of you.. all you got is bubbly and friendly amal ismail.. from the outside and when i am happy,it is the answer..
people come across to ask me,'what is your real name actually?'.. and i was like,you did mentioned that you are my friend and you do not know my name.. wanna slapped them! sometimes,people that you thought your friend knew less than you imagined about you,trust me! i have been in this situation and i was like,'you are my friend and you do not know my real name,are you kidding me buddy?'.. people like this are only after you for some pleasure moment that you can give to them,there is nothing serious about them.. so,please be extra careful when you are surrounded with this type of people..
so please friend out there,at least know something about your others friend.. if only his/her nickname,you can't called yourself his/her best friend yet.. I'm not sure what the type of person you are,but if you only wanna come and say hi,better don't.. because i have some friend that wanna live in me forever and yes,i do love them..
second chance,not every person worth it.. appreciate the first chance because second chance are rare.. once you hurt the first chance,the second chance won't comes easily..
why am i talking about the second chance? because i do feel regret about something in my past and now,i won't get the second chance so easily.. so,apa yang ada with me right now,I'm accepting the flaws.. so,please appreciate everything that come incidentally,unplanned or you don't even want it because somehow someday,you might feel that it worth a thousand times for you..
yes,that the price of chance.. you lose it,you might don't have a chance to get it back.. like when you're in a relationship,you left him and someday you might crawling back for him somehow.. that is why,appreciate it while you still can and enjoy it to the fullest.. there is no second chance for you if you wasted the first one,because the second chance are rare.. only the luckiest may have them.. definitely,i'm not amongst the luckiest person to have that.. regret on something past is something that not nessecery so earn them yourself,make your chance.. because if you work hard for it,you don't need any luck to earn it :D
the person that might not have the second chance because the second chance are rare, amal ismail
i guess it is not to late selamat hari raya aidilfitri,sorry for every wrong-doings that i ever made to you guys.. raya is so much fun! i hope you guys have a very fun raya too.. raya this year means a lot to me,i actually enjoy give duit raya to my niece and nephew than accepting them from anyone.. i at least feel like it is my responsibility to give it to them.. and having them to receive duit raya from me,bersalaman and kissing my pipi,so comel! hari raya is not so like an ordinary day,it is the day we seek for forgiveness and apologize for everything happened.. and hari raya also been surrounding with delicious meals as well.. i ate like so a lot,nasi dagang on my first day of raya! so delicious,like always mummy's cook never failed me..
and having a week of leave from work,i managed myself to go to the almost everyone houses to raya with them.. it was so much fun..
actually it is on October but 'm so excited! i miss them so much,to the bits.. they actually been so fantastic and awesome girlfriend that i ever had.. so demanding,so childish yet so understanding and the best part ever,we been friend since i was doing my diploma.. i don't know how we bend so nicely but here we are,3 years and never been apart!
I'm so sorry for neglected this blog of mine for quite some times,been too busy and so many thing comes up and yeah,I'm a bit lazy.. currently I'm having a very serious eyes infection.. hope it's gonna be better in any time soon..
sorry because i rarely updated now,i am now working and too tired to updated in here.. got nothing special to tell you guys so i better keep my mouth shut..
oh,this evening on my way home from working,this uncle stopped me.. he wanna to talked about this organization to collect some donation.. so i stopped at his booth just want to hear about the explanation he wanna gave me.. then he started to explain to me all the stuff about the organization and i'm all interested in it and i asked,'so if i wanna joined this organization,how should i pay the monthly fees?'.. then he explained on how.. but i felt that it seems to go wrong on something.. when i asked the form to bring back home to study about it he doesn't want to give it to me.. and also i should pay the monthly payment using my debit card since i don't have the credit card but the payment is using his name not the organization name.. so i went home and google about it,confirmed that guy want to cheat on me.. damn la you!
end of the story
this is the song that i have been listening lately :)
mana perginya lelaki yang cakap dia sanggup buat apa je untuk aku? mana perginya sang pria yang selalu cakap dia akan lindungi aku dari segala bahaya? mana perginya lelaki yang selalu ada bila aku seru nama dia? mana perginya lelaki yang takkan mengalah atau mengeluh kesakitan bila aku pukul dia untuk lepaskan geram aku? mana perginya lelaki yang selalu ada disamping aku walaupun aku da selalu sakitkan hati dia? adakah aku takkan dapat lelaki macam nie atau ini jelah yang terakhir?
kau dah cukup beruntung sebab ada dia dalam hidup kau,apa lagi yang kau nak?
aku mahukan lelaki yang buat aku rasa aku perlukan dia tapi bila dia ada disamping aku,aku buat endah tak endah je dengan dia.
mana ada lelaki yang akan tahan dengan semua kehendak dan kemahuan kau tu?
ada,aku pasti lelaki yang aku nak tu wujud dalam dunia nie,aku pasti.
kalau aku cakap orang tu tak wujud?
takkan,dia mesti wujud sebab aku tau dia memang tercipta untuk aku dan aku tau aku akan dapatkan lelaki tu satu hari nanti,sebab aku da tinggalkan jejak untuk dia datang cari aku kat sini.
aku tak perlukan itu. aku cuma perlukan lelaki yang sempurna pada mata orang lain tapi takkan pernah sempurna pada mata aku kerana aku juga tidak sempurna pada mata dia. biar kekurangan kami saling melengkapi untuk satu sama lain. aku nak kekurangan aku nie akan nampak cantik pada mata dia.
p/s : apa yang bermain di kepalaku sejak akhir-akhir nie
nothing much,I'm spending my weekdays at my Love's workplace at the Lim Kok Wing's university.. it's my first time been there,so huge and yes so innovative yet awesome.. feels just the same like Taylor's but this time is kindda different because you can feel that you are welcome there because they are so friendly.. can i further my study there? :)
and also,Love's birthday is on Saturday but I'm wondering what to buy to him as his present.. please give me some idea that fun and attractive.. i don't want something that is so dull and boring..
you're not exist i hope.. please go away.. yes,I'm in dilemma right now.. i want that thing so badly all this time and it's slipped away from me because someone else mistake.. sangat sedih okay.. but my mum say maybe it is not my luck anymore and maybe God already gives the chance to me before and let someone else have it now.. and i have to accept it anyway.. yes,i guess i already accept it right now although it hurts but i believe somehow one day it will cure.. so,life have to move on and yeah i will move on too..
consider means bertimbang rasa.. please driver,tolongla bertimbang rasa sedikit ketika memandu.. i don't want to die yet and i'm pretty sure you too.. please use your car's signal when you wanna turn left or right or you wanna change your lane,don't simply do it while i'm speeding.. luckily i managed to held on the brake you driver,if not both of us i guess will end up in the grave right now..
i understand that you be in such a hurry but please consider about others road user as well.. it's not only you that using the road,there are many in fact plenty of them and I'm sure that they will be certainly careful as i am..
whoever whose driving on the road or riding on the road,please be extra consider about others because they also wanna live a life too as you driver.. so,please watch out for others too..
i just had a conversation with my boyfriend,a very meaningful conversation i guess.. we talked about kids.. yes,for a married couple having babies is like a blast and as for me,although i am not married yet but i am a woman and a woman by hook or by crook have to be settle down from her glory times and get married and having babies.. and tonight,i come clean to him about babies.. and we were both finally came up with this huge ideas,i love him for those thing that he have been saying to me,'let's go with the flow'.. okay,nothing serious and we were not having an elligitimate babies or those awful things in your mind.. we were clean..
we were talked about future.. i'm going to further up my degree in April and it is for 3 and a half years.. by the age of 26,i will finish up my studies and then I'm going to work for 2 and a half years of course to collect money to get weds and finally we will settle down..
maybe for you guys,my boyfriend and i were having a gala time in daydreaming but we take it very seriously.. no,i take it very seriously about my life.. this is not a wasted time no more,no more hanky panky life like before,i wanna get everything straight and flows with my orders.. i wanna be so independent because time for sure,do not wait for me.. i wanna get my ass focus on my future now,past is past and the present is now.. i might cannot have one or two things according to my future plan,but i will make sure it will happened.. well,you will be facing the new me now.. i will be very serious when you wanna talked about my future.. i'm planning it but i leaves everything to HIM,to my creators.. HE knows the best for me..
you can laughing on our plan,might be saying that we are insane but have you guys love birds ever think about this? i guess not because you don't take this matter seriously like i did.. i do not want to make myself looks like a slut out there,changing men for each day.. i wanna stick to one man that i can rely on him for the rest of my life that is why i come up with this plan.. you might call me jerk or moron,but at least i have a backup plan if the worse turns up.. do you have your own backup plan?
please,plan something for your love life because if you will ended up with the same guy without any plan,you will be in hell
there is a tsunami happened today in Japan,been my dream country to go.. with the 8.9 ritcher scale,it is re symbol of 4 meters high of wave actually.. although i don't have any of my family members lives there,but please pray for them.. 20 were dead after an hour this incident happened and i guess it might be many more we still haven't know yet.. so please pray for them by remembering them and pray to God.. putting this incident as your status in facebook,tumblr or twitter but didn't do anything about it won't help each one of them,there.. tq!
it almost a year now in a few days time.. i just can't believe that you will stick to me like a glue for almost a year love and yes,we did it.. our first met was at futsal court back in college in 2009 and since there,we started to being friends.. and we became closer day by day and on the 17th January 2010 yes,you proposed me to be your girl in most an unique way..
i miss those blue eyes how you kiss me at night i miss the way we sleep like there's no sunrise like the taste of your smile i miss the way we breathe
i fall in love with you deeper,day by day past by.. and the way you dealing with my insanity,amaze me somehow because I will be the most sarcastic person that you might ever seen when I'm mad.. I've said a lot of bad things to you and it likes of thousand times in a year that i badly hurt your feeling and i made you cried because of me.. but you still there,standing with pride to deal with my insane side..
but i never told you what i should have said no,i never told you i just held in
and now, i miss everything about you can't believe i still want you and after all the things we've being through i miss everything about you without you
he is the only guy that deserved my attention and my care.. and he is the only guy that know how to dealing with the evil side in me.. no others are as good as him and i bet every men out there to be such a loyal as mine to your partner.. can you be there at 12 am in the rain when your partner craving for some insane stuff? and yes,he did it for me.. can you handle the tough part when your partner slapped you out in front of public? i did it once to him and he handle it.. too many of crazy things that i have done to him and he is still here.. that's make me going back to him again and again for every single time.. no other guy are as good as him and as an awesome as him..
to give me all your love is all i ever asked i would go through all this pain take a bullet straight through my brain yes,i would die for you
“We’re young. We’re supposed to drink too much. We’re supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other’s brains out. We are designed to party. This is it. Yeah, so a few of us will overdose or go mental. But Charles Darwin said you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. And that’s what it’s all about breaking eggs! And by eggs, I do mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of Class As. If you could just see yourselves! It breaks my heart. You’re wearing cardigans! We had it all. We fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful! We’re screw-ups. I’m a screw-up and I plan to be a screw-up until my late 20s, maybe even my early 30s. And I will shag my own mother before I let her… or anyone else take that away from me!”
last 2 days were my birthday,i finally turned on 22 years old.. da boleh mengundi da tp tak daftar pun lagi :D
what does you understand with 'anonymous'? stranger right? yes,i wanna talked about stranger but i posted out the Leighton picture :)
well,all my life i have been dealing with stranger.. all the time when i did said this.. i could said that now,when it comes to an anonymous i don't bother about it anymore.. i don't give a damn at all.. yes,go to hell with anonymous.. let me clarify about anonymous,do you know them? do you be friend with them? does they know you really well? NO,they don't.. they don't even know you well.. all they do the best is critics you and put a blame on you the most.. sometimes i do think,what will happened if i listen the anonymous said all i feel bad about myself on what and how should i behave? i guess i don't have freedom then..
when you are dealing with this some nonsense crap,ignore them is what you can do the most.. always remember that anonymous will only bring harm to you.. avoid them and do not take any serious about what they said because they are nothing,just some wind blow that finally will fade away.. put them aside and live your life as usual.. let sit back and relax because anonymous will shut their mouth after finally they get tired after badmouthing you..
people always asked me whether i don't have a hard time or whether i don't facing any trouble in life?
let me give you the answer then.. i do have a trouble,a problem sometimes and i also facing a hard time sometimes but what i always do,i smile and be calm all the time.. as my mum say,'nak gelabah buat apa,relaks jela'.. just facing your hard time with calmness because when you takes it too serious,it will kill you! trust me when i said,it will turns to you back.. just be calm,take a deep breath and smile..
problems,it will come and go in our life and we have to be able to handle it well.. don't be panic when you turn out to be in trouble just think on other solutions and it will be better.. i always think none of the problem or trouble that cannot be solve just you have to make yourself believe that you're in trouble and think of the solution that will bring no harm to yourself..
OMG,vacation is so much fun this time.. i spend my time with my best friends and him.. as i reached Shah Alam in 4 pm and him already waiting for me at the bus station and we went to eat and catching up.. i have done so many things until i forgot what it is..
i have done a lot of things this time and also fighting up with times but i managed to have a good and sweet memories with all of them..
and i also have a new year's present,blackberry bold 9000! thank you love :)
i'm so looking forward for another trip with them next time,so $ please be in my pocket soon..