Perfectionist Disorder

Hi, I know it been awhile since I've been here writing in my column. Since i know no one is gonna read about my life eventhough,sincere jokes.

It a V-day today so Happy Valentine Day to everyone. I guess wishing everyone on the V-day is not wrong at all.

I have a dilemma and it been with me for a long time, it is being perfect. It is so hard for me to keep and contain myself from being perfect all the time and yet i did it all over again to myself. Like today, i actually did screwed up some things in the office and sudden, my mood changed and i become heartless toward everyone aroune me. Pathetic isn't? I badly wanna change this bad habit but i don't know how and when it gonna change. To change, i'm gonna need a really strong desire but right now my only desire is to shop. How come la to change like this?

I shouldn't be complaining about this and i know the problem itself comes form me, the inner and the bad side of me. I just couldn't help it to feel bad everytime i screwed things up. Haih, life is so easy when we were kids. Now, life is so challenging and cruel, demanding and boring. If only i never grew up this fast. See, i can't tolerate if people do something wrong in work matter or even my life, and it's how it feel likes when i screwed up mine.

Please help me. I don't know how to stop being perfect because i know everybody do some silly thing and got screw up sometimes, they not born as an angel so do I.