Perfectionist Disorder

Hi, I know it been awhile since I've been here writing in my column. Since i know no one is gonna read about my life eventhough,sincere jokes.

It a V-day today so Happy Valentine Day to everyone. I guess wishing everyone on the V-day is not wrong at all.

I have a dilemma and it been with me for a long time, it is being perfect. It is so hard for me to keep and contain myself from being perfect all the time and yet i did it all over again to myself. Like today, i actually did screwed up some things in the office and sudden, my mood changed and i become heartless toward everyone aroune me. Pathetic isn't? I badly wanna change this bad habit but i don't know how and when it gonna change. To change, i'm gonna need a really strong desire but right now my only desire is to shop. How come la to change like this?

I shouldn't be complaining about this and i know the problem itself comes form me, the inner and the bad side of me. I just couldn't help it to feel bad everytime i screwed things up. Haih, life is so easy when we were kids. Now, life is so challenging and cruel, demanding and boring. If only i never grew up this fast. See, i can't tolerate if people do something wrong in work matter or even my life, and it's how it feel likes when i screwed up mine.

Please help me. I don't know how to stop being perfect because i know everybody do some silly thing and got screw up sometimes, they not born as an angel so do I.



December Blues

Happy 2 years and and 11 months anniversary dear you and myself. Bosan tak tengok muka yang sama almost 2 years dah right now? And hopefully akan ada happy news tahun depan,do wait if you guys wanna know about it. I can't wait for it actually since I've been waiting for this quite some times now.

je t'aime

Hola,je t'aime! Okay,feeling macam nak pergi Perancis for free so who is up nak belanja me? *slap* Lately perasaan nak pergi travelling sangat kuat memancar-mancar dalam benak sanubari ku lalu percutian ke Cameron Highland telah dirancang bersama lelaki tersayang,Insyaallah bulan depan. Kenapa nak pergi bulan depan sebab bulan nie dah pokai,tau tak? Can't wait and might be nak ajak few of my friend to join,eh eh bestnya. Haha,monolog dalaman mesti nak kena extreme extravanganza. Okay,maafkan diri ini yang sangat hyper di hari Rabu yang mendung nie.

So how was your Hari Raya Aidil Adha? Me? I've blast dengan banyak jenis makanan yang my mum and my elder sister masakkan. Since I'm the youngest so bayangkanla betapa maharajalelanya myself bila kat rumah. So first raya we had laksa Terengganu sort of macam laksam bagi sesiapa yang tau cuma dimakan bersama laksa gandum la,sedap yang amat sampai bertambah sebanyak 3 kali. Buruk lantakkan? Dan disamping laksa,ada juga nasi dagang,sate dan ketupat. Nyum nyum! Petangnya makan steamboat that I made,requested by my sister. 

Second day raya,makan sup tulang,nasi arab dan oreo ice cream. See told ya,kalau balik kampung macam ada food galore at home sebab my mum tau anak-anak dia macam rakus dengan makanan. Sebab tu my mum suka kumpulkan anak-anak kalau ada occasion dan jamu kami dengan makanan. While typing ini pun teringin dan bestnya kalau dapat makan laksa sekarang! Okay,bye.

Alhamdulilah

I have 2 more weeks here in Diginex Technology Sdn Bhd as I am about to resign soon. And earlier this morning,I received a phone call from Transmile Air Services saying that I am chosen to be a part of them and I will start my new job on this 12nd November 2012. See,told ya I am awesome and thank you so much miss Maria Elena for actually make me become myself. Your word of wisdom and I am no longer afraid of actually being heard. 

So I am excited to start a new job at the new place and Insyaallah,I hope I will like it. I am excited,extremely. I don't have any new story to be told you guys here,so maybe you're boring reading mine and because of that,I am truly sorry. 

Today I received one more excitement,he bought me a gold bracelet,and I am wearing it while typing this. I like it so very much and I'm in love with it. Thank you so much sayang!

this ain't supposed to happen

Currently dah rajin exercise twice a week,main badminton actually. And since dah rajin exercise nie,I found myself macam dah kurang nafsu nak makan lagi. And I always had my meal in a very small portion tapi sometimes tak boleh lawan nafsu makan jugak kan kalau makanan sedap dah terhidang di depan mata and it delicious. And yes,I very much different now with my shape macam dah ada yang sedikit mengecil daripada kebiasaannya. Adakah bermaksud yang saya dah kurus and about to come back to my M size?

Well,boleh dikatakan I am determined untuk kurus because baju-baju lama dah tak boleh muat and I feel ugly being a fat woman. And mana nak cari booth to sell them,means like macam event yang purposely orang pergi during the weekends? Please anyone let me know because trust me,unused baju I not that bad pun and ada yang I bought it tapi tak pakai and some of them still have the tags on. Haha,membazir kan and lucky me my mother don't read my blog so she wouldn't know about this unless you tell her. 

Last night,when I just finished watching Looper with my man and went back to home,a car suddenly macam himpit us on the road. Can you imagined macamana I mengelabah dalam kereta menjerit macam orang gila when I actually not pun. This is not our first time or my first,dah banyak kali orang try nak himpit and tukar lane without signal betul0betul depan our car and made us macam berhenti mengejut atas highway yang busy tu. So,I was like bukak tingkap and menjerit pada kereta yang nak himpit kitaorang sangat tu,'tengok side mirror please'. I know that was not an appropriate action to do tapi biasala,orang kalau dah panic attack like that boleh berfikir dengan waras lagi ke? You tell me.

P/s : A date with Miss Maria Elena Zarul this Saturday STYLING SESSION AT TESCO MUTIARA DAMANSARA 2PM!! Awesome!

P/s/s : Part time tutor at Enopi Putra Heights start tonight,wish me luck! 

I don't know what to do

I browsing through Cambridge University web page just now and I missed it. No,I am not spend my studies there but I've got an offer to further my study there,once. I missed having the opportunities of showing my abilities to the world. And yes,I've dropped it because of some reason. In the meantime,while browsing I keep thinking to further my degree since I only have my diploma and you know this world doesn't give a shit anymore about a Diploma holder and yes,I am embarrassed by it. Public said that Diploma holder are nothing and at least you should be a Degree holder to actually obtain a good position in a established company. And to be told,it hit me in my face quite a lot when I'm applied for a better position in a high name company these day.

Being judged to someone who I barely know is out from my league actually,but from someone who I look upon high,is actually hurt. Yet,I determine to further my study even by hook or crook and I will do it just to throw my Degree certificate right in front of their face one day. Well,you messed out with the wrong person. Since I am not born wealthy like some of yours,so it might take a while to do so. But I've set the plan and yes,with God's will,it will happen to be true someday. 

I don't know why these people are being do judgmental about a diploma or a degree holder. Hello,we were not buying those certificate but we earned it. So why the diploma holder like myself being left out and ignored? Somebody gotta showed up and explain it because I deserved much more better than this crap that you pulled. Plus,how come the "just" graduated person without an experience will be able to be accepted in your company if you,the BOD doesn't give a chance to him/her to gain an experience at your workplace?

 I pity your son/daughter when they will go apply the job one day and these thing will happen to them,turned out worse than mine. This is the big issue to be look out for rather than some skank artist that got married and finally divorce. They sure got issue with each other meanwhile I got issue with the world.