I don't know what to do

I browsing through Cambridge University web page just now and I missed it. No,I am not spend my studies there but I've got an offer to further my study there,once. I missed having the opportunities of showing my abilities to the world. And yes,I've dropped it because of some reason. In the meantime,while browsing I keep thinking to further my degree since I only have my diploma and you know this world doesn't give a shit anymore about a Diploma holder and yes,I am embarrassed by it. Public said that Diploma holder are nothing and at least you should be a Degree holder to actually obtain a good position in a established company. And to be told,it hit me in my face quite a lot when I'm applied for a better position in a high name company these day.

Being judged to someone who I barely know is out from my league actually,but from someone who I look upon high,is actually hurt. Yet,I determine to further my study even by hook or crook and I will do it just to throw my Degree certificate right in front of their face one day. Well,you messed out with the wrong person. Since I am not born wealthy like some of yours,so it might take a while to do so. But I've set the plan and yes,with God's will,it will happen to be true someday. 

I don't know why these people are being do judgmental about a diploma or a degree holder. Hello,we were not buying those certificate but we earned it. So why the diploma holder like myself being left out and ignored? Somebody gotta showed up and explain it because I deserved much more better than this crap that you pulled. Plus,how come the "just" graduated person without an experience will be able to be accepted in your company if you,the BOD doesn't give a chance to him/her to gain an experience at your workplace?

 I pity your son/daughter when they will go apply the job one day and these thing will happen to them,turned out worse than mine. This is the big issue to be look out for rather than some skank artist that got married and finally divorce. They sure got issue with each other meanwhile I got issue with the world.

I don't like you

I hate being lied,like I hate when I ordered food and when it reached my table,not as tasty like in the picture hanging at the wall. So do you get me now? I really hate being lied straight to my face,in front of me and I don't even noticed about it until someone told me. Seriously,get a life daripada kerja asyik nak menipu orang je dah kenapa? Sesak sangat dah ke kehidupan sendiri tu sampai ada masa nak menipu semua orang macam nie sekali? And the most important thing is,I don't like it when people that I trust the most lied to me. Once you lied to me,memang takkan ada kepercayaan lagi selepas itu walaupun apa yang you tipu tu macam remeh je,ala ciput je pun. Tipu tetap tipu macam berak tetap berak takkan nak cakap kencing kot. Menda  yang dah berlaku memang tak boleh nak reverse balik dah,so tanggung la relationship tanpa rasa percaya lagi sebab lepas nie apa yang keluar daripada mulut you tu,satu habuk pun I won't trust it anymore.

And one more thing,remembered I ada bagitau you guys yang I nak pergi bercuti dengan kawan I kat Gambang right? Well I did go tapi bukan itu yang I nak bagitau tapi I have one guy friend nie yang sangat noob. Dia dah kerja,berduit tapi kedekut macam apa plus suka tindas kawan sendiri and the most annoying part is,suka ikut kepala sendiri je. Dahla bergurau dengan kawan perempuan kasar bukan main and nak gurau macam gurau dengan budak lelaki. See,macam apa je perangai. Dahla tak respect orang langsung,cakap nak best je. I wonder macamana gf dia tahan dengan perangai bodoh sombong dia nie? Tak penat ke nak berlagak je sepanjang masa?

Lagi satu,kepada semua driver okay kalau nak tukar lane tu please make sure tolongla bagi signal. Nak I cabut ke your signal tu? Plus tu tak payah la nak selfish sangat atas jalan raya,menyampah tau. Orang lain pun ada kereta jugak walaupun tak sebesar dan semewah kereta you (kereta bank lagipun) tapi hormat la sikit. Means being consider pun dah cukup bagus da kot. Nie kalau nak pentingkan diri sangat,buat je jalan raya sendiri nak tengok jugak mampu tak mampu nak buat highway sendiri.

Annoying betul Malaysian nie. Have you been to Ikea restaurant? Nie lagi satu yang I nak marah tau,kenapa lepas makan tak boleh kemas meja tu untuk kegunaan orang seterusnya? Sebab orang Malaysia nie pemalas rupanya. Kalau kat rumah boleh kemas sendiri kenapa kalau makan dekat Ikea tak boleh kemas sendiri? Kenapa nak harapkan orang lain kemas pulak. Nak cakap sisa makanan tu kotor la,habis tu sisa makanan you jugak kan? Kalau taknak pegang sisa makanan sendiri,tak payah datang makan kat Ikea la,pergi kedai mamak sana ada orang nak tolong lapkan meja,kemaskan meja semua diaorang buat la pendek kata.

Sigh,Malaysian 

discount card

Recently lalu depan sebuah book store and perasan that diaorang ada tampal satu poster besar depan kedai diaorang yang student and government employee ada diskaun untuk beli buku. Student sebanyak 70% and employee kerajaan got 60% and private sector,none! This is surprise,like seriously Malaysia? Kenapa private sector dianaktirikan? I do think yang kami menyumbang paling banyak dari segi ekonomi untuk negara nie. So the question here,to be exact kenapa hanya student dan pekerja kerajaan je yang dapat benefit from all of this? Private sector nie,dahla takde benefit,kenaikan gaji pun susah nak dapat,bonus lagi la macam hampeh and the most important thing is,paling bias yang I could see and deal with it ialah masa nak buat loan.

Nak buat loan pihak bank only akan bagi keistimewaan pada pekerja kerajaan sahaja,private sector punya loan susah nak lepas. But if only pekerja kerajaan,senang je lepas and then diaorang pun happy-happy. What is this Malaysia,this bias system that you applied? I really don't get this,padahal waktu bekerja pekerja kerajaan berapa jam lah sangat nak dibandingkan dengan kami,pekerja swasta. In fact,kami during the office hour takde pun senang lenang nak main fcacebook,online twitter or even having our coffee break. This is not the benefit that I want just to make it different. And plus,I am not against the pekerja kerajaan just I want to state yang kami nie private sector macam tidak dihargai langsung.

In fact,kenapa baru sekarang nak keluarkan kad student yang ada potongan harga sampai 70% tu kalau akhirnya nanti bila diaorang grad,they don't even think pun nak bayar balik pinjaman pelajaran like I did every month!  See,what are you try to prove right now? Even my ex-classmate during my high school yang still lagi buat degree sekarang nie,they said by the time their finished studies,they hope that PTPTN dimansuhkan supaya they don't need to paid for it. So I nak tanya what is the exact point to do all this? For the poor? Hello,I am a poor kid too kenapa I tak dapat benefit nie time I study dulu? Why? 

I just don't get this attitude. And I don't know who to be asking for this. I am not that desperate but to tell you the truth,berapa la sangat gaji pekerja swasta nie sebenarnya. Jangan tengok pada gaji GM,QC,BOD,or even the CEO. Gaji engineer sekalipun kalau nak bayar rumah lagi,kereta sampai 2 biji,pendidikan anak-anak,belanja isi rumah untuk sebulan,simpanan nak pergi haji lagi,bayangkan berapa je tinggal untuk duit minyak dan duit tol sebulan? See,ini bill untuk kehidupan harian sebenarnya,kehidupan manusia yang berpijak pada bumi yang nyata. Entahla,fikirkan la.

wide awake

Yes,I ambil tajuk lagu Katy Perry because I can. As for all you know,I am currently working in a real working life. As I started my job a year ago,I'm fully excited and overwhelming with the ideas that I am finally working and can be independent. with the thought of being able to control my own expenses and shop for the branded designers and above all of that and now I finally realize that I am not happy at all doing what I am doing now which is working. Yes,macam tak bersyukur with what I have now but it was what I do thinking right now.

This time I will surely not put a blame on my hormone. I hate the fact to think that I have to wake up early in the morning and off to work. Being front with my office mate and boss,really made me off the mode for the whole day. Trust me,you will feel bad when you off to the place that you gained money every month but you hate the surrounding because I do feel that. Maybe I have the worse office mate ever. 

I can't understand people gives other people their own chores just to have pleasure surfing internet all the times and when boss doing some what-to-call-pengawasan-in-english,they gelabah and sometimes playing a role in front of boss' face. Pura-pura busy and all,and sometimes even menyibuk in my own work. But when boss not around,huh belang dah keluar. When all of this happened,I felt bad for myself. And that make me thinking,apa dosa yang I dah buat sampai orang layan macam nie? I sedih tau tengok manusia-manusia yang bermuka depan orang lain. 

I was a junior here,and sikap sendiri tak suka masuk campur urusan orang lain buatkan orang nampak I lemah and naive which is I am totally not. Cuma ada perasaan malas nak cari gaduh dekat tempat rezeki,so saya diamkan je. Dan recently I be thinking of resigning. Walaupun my friend bising cakap lately susah nak cari kerja,but I have already made up my mind hujung bulan nie nak resigning. I believe in Rezeki ada di mana-mana kalau kita usaha, Insyaallah. 

Sorry sebab meluahkan perasaan but I have too. Taknak serabutkan anyone else.

Patah kaki dan tangan

Siapa dah baca metro hari nie mesti familiar dengan title my post kan? Pelik kan,apa salah baby tu sebenarnya? Apa motif pengasuh durjana tu nak buat macam tu? Apa hak dan siapa bagi kau hak nak buat kat anak orang macam tu? Seriously,I do feel bad for the family,the baby family not the nanny. Pengasuh tu patut dikenakan hukuman gantung sampai mati tak pun patahkan je kaki dengan tangan dia pulak,biar dia rasa pulak macam mana azab baby tu. Bodoh punya manusia macam tu. 

Nanti anak saya,memang tak la nak hantar pergi pengasuh ke apa ke,nak jaga sendiri je. Sanggup berhenti kerja,anak kot susah nak dapat. Bernasib baik dapat la,anak kan rezeki. Siti Nurhaliza kahwin dah berapa tahun pun tak dapat anak lagi,rezeki kan Allah SWT yang tentukan. Saya memang sanggup berkorban berhenti bekerja kalau perkara-perkara macam nie berlarutan. Walaupun ajal jodoh semua kerja Allah SWT tapi kes nie memang trauma. Anak kot,siapa tak sayang. 

Biarlah hidup susah pun nanti,pendapatan daripada satu sumber sahaja asalkan anak saya selamat membesar,tidak didera sesiapa pun. Biarlah susah,janji anak-anak selamat. Sekarang nie pengasuh yang dah kenal lama pun tak boleh percaya. Dah banyak kes-kes macam nie berlaku? Mana tindakan dari pihak yang berkenaan? Senyap je,makan gaji buta ke? Patutnya kes nie dah lama settle dan takkan berulang lagi sebab ini berkaitan dengan nyawa generasi muda kita,anak-anak kita. Bertindaklah cepat,takkan nak terkena kat anak sendiri baru nak bertindak. Dah-dah la tu tidur petang,makan gaji buta,masuk kerja pukul 9 pagi balik pukul 5 petang,makan 4 kali sehari time kerja. Tak malu ke? Gaji nak banyak tapi kerja malas nak buat.

the KWSP thing is

Had umur KWSP sekarang dah meningkat,umur 60 tahun baru boleh keluarkan simpanan. Apakah ini? Habis kalau seseorang tu tak sempat hidup sampai umur dia 60 tahun,habis tak merasa la duit simpanan dia. Kenapa nak ubah had umur sampai macam tu sekali? Itu kan duit simpanan pekerja,duit kitaorang yang bekerja nie? Apa hak sesebuah organisasi tu nak maktubkan rang yang baru tanpa persetujuan semua pihak yang menyimpan? Apa hak korang,cuba bagitau aku.

FOMCA sibuk nak lanjutkan umur pengeluaran,kalau macam tu sampai umur 60 tahun baru merasa nak pakai duit simpanan KWSP nak beli rumah,nak beli kereta baru,nak ubahsuai rumah,nak pergi haji,nak melancong pusing Eropah(impian saya je nie). Tak adil okay,sebelum nie dah elok 55 tahun apasal nak lanjutkan lagi? Memang la bukan berkuatkuasa tahun nie,tapi kalau tahun depan orang yang dah genap usia 55 tahun takkan kena tunggu lagi 5 tahun umur genap 60 baru boleh keluarkan? Apa nie wey,seriously memang tak puas hati. Nak sain petition la macam nie,mana peti petition?

Tak merasa la macam nie nak guna duit simpanan masa bekerja. Katakanlah ajal dah sampai sebelum umur 60 tahun,memang saya hantuilah pegawai yang sibuk-sibuk mak ayam tu nak lanjutkan had umur. Memang saya nak merasa jugak duit jerit perih saya tu,tak adil la macam nie? Siapa nak join buat bantahan aman Bersih 5.0 pulak. Sorry Ambiga,pinjam jap 'perjuangan' adil awak ea,jangan nak kedekut sangat la. Kan sharing is caring?

So,for those who are decided in changing the KWSP age limit,please la consider orang macam saya yang langsung TAK RELA rang itu dilaksanakan. Kalau laksana jugak,memang suruh bos tak payah potong epf lagi la lepas nie,tak pun suruh accountant company simpan duit epf tu dalam akaun lain. Boleh tak buat macam tu? Nak buat jugak tak kira la kalau betul jadi 60 tahun baru boleh keluarkan duit simpanan KWSP tu,mak tak kira tau!

pertambahan berat badan

you don't want to know how much i gained weight lately because i don't want to know about them either.. thus,i can only give you an example,i don't fit any of my skinny jeans anymore so saying good bye to all of them is the best decision.. i need a pair of the new jeans and a lot of new t shirt,please take me out for shopping..

here are the example of what i ate daily:
breakfast - sometimes bread and nasi lemak or some biscuits
lunch - fried kuew teow and fried rice sometimes
dinner - a plate of the plain rice and a chicken soup or something light

see? such unhealthy meal that i have.. should start of my diet routine once again because my eating habit freaks me out already.. i don't want to have an unstable life and being fat is scary.. should hold myself from eating and should control the need.. it's a lust somehow,i don't know.. but it will bring harm to me someday,sooner or later..

i pledge to start on diet routine,see ya delicious meal.. i promise you won't see me anymore!


amal ismail (the fat)

yang dikejar tak dapat,yang dikendong berciciran

peribahasa tu sangat kena dengan aku sekarang. rasa sangat sakit hati bila apa yang aku kejar tak dapat tapi apa yang aku ada,aku tak suka. sucks!


sincerely,
amal ismail

you're my fake dream

you're not exist i hope.. please go away.. yes,I'm in dilemma right now.. i want that thing so badly all this time and it's slipped away from me because someone else mistake.. sangat sedih okay.. but my mum say maybe it is not my luck anymore and maybe God already gives the chance to me before and let someone else have it now.. and i have to accept it anyway.. yes,i guess i already accept it right now although it hurts but i believe somehow one day it will cure.. so,life have to move on and yeah i will move on too..

amal ismail

easy come and easy go

i miss to tell you everything..

amal ismail

i pledge to be happy in 2011

so much problem recently,so many tears come out and so frustrated.. sometimes i have a will that need to be fulfill and needs to be take care of.. i am so tired.. i pledge to be happy in 2011 so please 2011,be hurry!

amal ismail

tired to be an angel

i'm in a big messed lately,friends problem.. i know i can't say this but i regret to be involved in it.. it breaks my heart and i am tired,it's tortured me enough.. i hardly can find any explanation to tell myself on why people act that way? so shame :(

amal ismail

i want to be disappear forever

seriously,down gila skrg nie.. always ada je yg comes up in between whenever i wanna feel happy.. i want to be disappear forever..

amal ismail

sometimes it hurts me but you don't know

'and everything will be better..'

yeah,i hope everything will be better for me someday.. yeah,a freaking ONE DAY.. i hate it when people think that i am not capable in doing anything.. please,everything will be better..


amal ismail

i prefer to be drown in my own mind

i choose to drown in my own mind.. i don't want friend because i had enough of them in ME,kaki penipu,perampas,suka tikam belakang,suka cakap belakang,suka mengumpat etc.. see,i told you right i PREFER to be drown in my own mind because it doesn't hurt me a lot like they do..

amal ismail

11.11.10

currently I'm injured very bad.. like so-very-bad-nak-mampus-because-i-can-feel-my-heart,you know it right? it's okay guys,i am good in healing myself..


amal ismail

don't you worry

do you love your mum?

here are a story about someone that can be called my family's friend.. she is so beautiful,intelligent and also wealthy.. but ashamed of her is that she treating her mum like her maid.. at first i don't believe it but until i saw it with my own eyes,yes i did believe.. she scolded her mum whenever she wants it too,she being nice with her mum whenever she wants it too.. pity her mum,so scared of her own daughter.. sometimes i saw her mum crying because of her.. pity this old woman,she don't deserved that..

can't you imagine your mum carry you around in her womb for 9 months and at the end you scold her back? memang tak patut langsung.. i am not trying to be an angel here because sometimes i do get mad on my own mum,but it will never across on my mind to do such thing.. it is so embrassing because i do respect her,a lot.. i don't have a word anymore,feeling like wanna crying now.. i can't even thinking what will happened next to the aunty?

and what will i do if it happened to my mum?

amal ismail